I believe. Say it, out loud. Let it sit inside and reverberate through you. Do you BELIEVE it?
I believe.
Seems so simple, right?
It's far from. Believing comes from extracting fear and worry. The extracting of fear and worry is hard work. And in order to get to the other side. In order to get to the place where you believe, you have to go through the fear and the worry.
When I go through, I've found that the old habits and fears come to the forefront and it's quite easy to latch onto those, to let them run amok on my mind and send my heart into a panic. To attach to my habitual ways of being and to need validation that everything is going to be okay.
I've been guilty of this always. Even though my intuition is strong, I have a had a hard time believing. I let my mind play tricks on me. I build paranoid delusions, something I thought was a malfunction of my sixth chakra, but as I started healing my first chakra, I realized that this is the place where the fear and paranoia breeds.
When we don't feel safe and secure in the material world, when we don't feel grounded, it leads us to create fears and worries. These fears and worries stop us from believing. And when we don't believe we can't achieve. Our first chakra is that palce where we ground. It's where we become safe and secure.
I never realized how strong the world BELIEVE actually is. It's in our believing that we create our own magical joyful world. I was one who enjoyed the cynicism, the painful analyzing of a situation. I am still guilty of falling into this habit at times. I did it yesterday. My paranoia took over and I was off on a tangent analyzing, trying to make myself feel safe. No amount of analyzing ever makes me feel safe. Rather, it makes me feel fucking crazy. But I do it anyway. I run away with stories and talk myself in circles driving myself and everyone around me nuts. Over the years, I've developed systems to release instead of attach, to trust instead of analyze, but sometimes I get crazy. One of those systems is meditation.
Yesterday, what made me feel safe was when I sat on my meditation pillow, when I closed my eyes and went inside, when I let the magic of silence unravel the truth, that is what made me feel safe.
It was there, on that pillow, where I realized what I needed to forgive, what I needed to heal, who I needed to forgive, who needed my love so that they can heal too. It was on my pillow where I let my anger unravel and dissolve from my body.
Anger is not an emotion I feel often these days. Last night, it came on strong, suffocating me under it's fiery weight. And it was when I sat and breathed that I knew my anger came from letting my mind wreak havoc on me. From my reverting back to old patterns, old behaviors, where fear and worry ran the show.
Though, as I sat and breathed, as I released I realized that I had to go through to get to the other side. I had to feel those uncomfortable feelings. I had to fret and worry and analyze and get angry so that I could release it, so that I could be free and let go, so that I could realize that I believe.
For the first time ever, I believe and when you believe magic unfolds. When you take the leap and forgo a plan B. When you trust and let go and truly, completely commit to yourself and belief in your path that is when the world opens up for you.
It's hard to believe. But, if you practice saying it, if you commit to it, and let it unfurl through your body you truly start to allow the power of belief to overtake you and, in that, worry and fear become a bad relationship from a distant place.
I believe. I believe in you. I believe in me. I believe in the God that lives within. I believe in love. I believe in life. I believe in beauty and in truth. I believe in magic and unicorns and the love in my heart. I believe in goodness and prayer. I believe in forgiveness and in life. I believe in the power of the moonlight. I believe in my heart and in yours. I believe in my dreams. I'll say that again, I believe in my dreams.
I believe in your healing and in mine. I believe in the beauty of the night and the grace of the rising sun. I believe in silence and in laughter and in music that makes me cry. I believe in breath. I believe in yoga. I beleive in God. I believe in you and in me. I believe...
I believe!
It's a gift, to believe. Give that gift to yourself. Give that gift to the world. So many people are too scared to have faith, too scared to believe. Be courageous. Take a risk and believe.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Peace and Love...xoxoxo
Yarrow