Osho says, "Love is fire."
It is a burning through, a transformation. He says that most people go through life loveless because they are too scared to go through the transformation.
Love, real love, brings forth our insecurities, our fears, our jealousies...
It makes us feel, really feel until our vulnerabilities are bleeding out onto our beloved.
We fear this uncovering of our hearts. It makes us feel out of control. And we, as a culture, have carefully crafted our lives so that we control everything. But, the truth, the real truth, is that we don't control anything!
I spent years trying to control, letting my monkey mind create systems, routines that I believed kept me safe, but they never did. I always ended up being thrown into the fire anyway. I fought it and closed up, acted childish, blamed...
I abused myself and the people in my life because I was so scared, so scared to let go, so scared of loss, but what I didn't realize is that we can't ever lose anything. That love inside of us, the love we feel for others, it is always there. It is real and it can never be taken away.
And now here I am, taking ownership, looking inside and letting feelings be felt. Here I am, learning how to be vulnerable.
As we sit on the precipice of Spring, I am reminded of burning through, transforming, so that we may create new. The blooms of new life were once buried in the dark. They had to grow into the light. We all have to go through to get to the other side.
Our hearts have to break, our plans of the kind of life we thought we should live have to get tossed aside for the life we are supposed to live. It is up to us to listen, to let the old shed so that we may blossom into the new.
It takes great courage to transform. We want to hold onto to the dark. It's comfortable there, but it's time to shine. It's time to let joy guide you home, to the place deep in the center of your being, the one that reverberates love, the place that gives that love freely without expectation, without fear.
It's scary. It's hard. It's painful. But, above all, this transformation is the most beautiful facet of life. It is the letting go of this self created hell so that we may become the love we are meant to be. Only love is real.
If we can remember that. If we can feel the pain, sit with it and remember that only love is real that is when our rebirth begins, that is when we have had the courage to step into the fire, to let it destroy us so that, ultimately, it can create us!
Happy Spring!
Peace and love...xo
Yarrow